I swiped my
dance card
once after an
audition
And on a scale of ten
they gave me
for dance
ten
For looks three
Well dance ten
looks three
and I'm still on
unemployment
Dancing for my
own enjoyment
That ain't it, kid
That ain't it, kid
Dance ten
Looks three
is like to die!
I left the theatre
and called the doctor
for my appointment
to buy
T*ts and ass
bought myself
a fancy pair
Tightened up
the derriere
did the nose with it
all that goes with it
T*ts and ass
had the bingo-bongos
done
Suddenly I'm getting
national tours!
T*ts and ass
won't get you jobs
unless they're yours
Didn't cost
a fortune neither
Didn't hurt my
sex life either
Flat and sassy
I would get the
strays and losers
Beggars really
can't be choosers
That ain't it kid
That ain't it kid
Fixed the chassis
"How do you do!"
Life turned into an
endless medley of
"Gee it had to be you!"
Why?
T*ts and ass
where the cupboard
once was bare
Now you knock
and someone's there
you have got 'em hey
top to bottom hey
It's a gas!
Just a dash
of silicone
Shake your new maracas
and you'll find
T*ts and ass
can change your life
they sure
changed mine
You're all looking
at my t*ts now
aren't you?
Have it all done
honey take my word
Grab a cab c'mon
see the wizard on
Park and Seventy-Third
For t*ts and ass
orchestra and balcony
What they want
is whatcha see
keep the best of you
do the rest of you
Pits or class
I have never
seen it fail
Debutante or
chorus girl
or wife....
T*ts and ass
yes t*ts and ass
have changed...
my... life...!