DOWN THE ROAD
THERE'S A DAIRY QUEEN
UP THE BLOCK
THERE'S A WALMART
THERE'S A PLACE YOU CAN
ACCESSORISE YOUR PETS
A SCHOOL, A TREE
A COUPLE OF CHURCHES
AND NO MATTER HOW HARD
ANYBODY SEARCHES
THAT'S ABOUT AS THRILLIN' AS
THIS DUMB-ASS VILLAGE GETS
IT'S THE LAMEST PLACE
IN THE WORLD
BUT IT JUST GOT
A LITTLE BIT BETTER
SO, DON'T DISAPPEAR
IT'S THE LAMEST PLACE
IN THE WORLD
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE
IT'S NOT AS LAME
AS IT WAS BEFORE
NOW THAT YOU'RE HERE
FORTY MILES
TO THE NEAREST RIVER
SIXTY MILES TO THE AIRPORT
WHEN WE PLAN OUR ESCAPE
THAT'S WHERE
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE
IT'S A SHAME, IT'S A SHAM
IT'S A TERRIBLE PITY
YOU GOT DRAGGED AWAY
FROM NEW YORK CITY
IT'S MAJOR SUCK FOR YOU
BUT IT'S AMAZIN' LUCK FOR ME
IT'S THE LAMEST PLACE
IN THE WORLD
BUT IT JUST GOT
A LITTLE BIT BETTER
I'M HAPPY TO SAY
IT'S THE LAMEST PLACE
IN THE WORLD
YOU'RE COMPLETELY EXOTIC
INTELLECTUAL, NEUROTIC
YOU WOULD NEVER HAVE A SHOT
EXCEPT YOU'VE FOUND
THE PERFECT GUIDE
AND THOUGH
I DON'T REALLY KNOW YOU
I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SHOW YOU
EVERY FAKE AND FREAK
EVERY FOOL AND CLOWN
SINCE THE CHIPPEWA
SETTLED THIS STUPID TOWN
LET 'EM LAUGH
THEY WON'T KEEP ME DOWN
WITH YOU BY MY SIDE...
AND IT JUST GOT
A LITTLE BIT BETTER
AMAZIN', BUT TRUE
YES, THE LAMEST PLACE
IN THE WORLD
HAS LOTS OF FLAWS
BUT MAYBE
IT'LL BE FINE, BECAUSE
IT BROUGHT ME... TO YOU.....